Recipes
Mead
I think I may have finally found my calling.
For a very long time I’ve been interested in the beer and wine making process, and I love to seize the means of production by the balls, but let’s face it: homemade wine and beer can be downright awful. There’s no way I could make wine or beer better than the pros. However, there is a third and oft overlooked option: mead.
In it’s simplest form, Mead is a wine made from honey, water and yeast. It is the oldest fermented beverage in the world, and was probably discovered by some hapless nit-wit who left his leather honey pouch open over night in the rain. A couple days later, the honey was a little more magical tasting than usual.
Mead has enjoyed a rich history in Viking culture- fallen warriors were believed to arrive in the halls of Valhalla in the afterlife, where, after a day of hard battling, they feasted on crackled pork at Odin’s table all night long. In the middle of the hall, a giant she-goat stood on her hind legs and nibbled on a pine branch while rich mead poured of our her teats.
Don’t you just love it already?
There are many types of mead that can be made by adding various ingredients to the basic recipe of honey, water and yeast. For instance:
Thanksgiving recipes: Pumpkin Pie with Cinnamon Whipped Cream
Let’s be honest now, there’s no getting away from the Thanksgiving table without a piece of pumpkin pie, no matter how tight your pants are.
If you’ve got a garden and have the space, I recommend growing one little sugar pumpkin vine each year. Even if you’re tight on space, you can train the pumpkin vine to crawl around on a sidewalk out outside the boundaries of your patch so you still have some space.
Of course, most people just reach for a tin can of pumpkin puree this time of year, but if you can either grow or purchase a sugar pumpkin it is that much better.
Sugar pumpkins are small and almost entirely flesh, unlike your typical hollow jack-o-lantern type. The flesh is a pale yellowy-peach colour and very light and sweet tasting.
You can reduce the sugar content in your pumpkin pie recipe by about half if you’re working with a sugar pumpkin, which is exactly what I’ve done here:
Keep reading for the full recipe and pumpkin roasting instructions. This makes TWO pies.
Thanksgiving Recipes: Pear and Onion Stuffing
Here’s a classic you just can’t fuck up, no matter what you do.
I stole this recipe from the old school version of the Joy of Cooking and adapted it to match the other flavours in my Thanksgiving recipes. If you’re broke-ass and think ahead, you can save all of your bread bums in a plastic bag in the freezer for a couple of months for this recipe.
Stove Top stuffing… kiss my ass.
Keep reading for the full recipe.
Thanksgiving Recipes: Cranberry Pear Chutney
Cranberry sauce is so… 20th Century, man.
You crack open a can of No Name red “cranberry sauce” and… shhhluppp! A perfect tin-can-shaped jello object slaps into your bowl, ready for you to artfully fork apart to hide your shame.
We all do it every year and it’s damn convenient, but there are many more inspired things you can do.
This recipe is just the ticket, and a perfect offering if you’re showing up to scavenge someone else’s scraps for Thanksgiving.
I stole this from a Real Simple magazine I rescued from the recycling bin behind my old apartment back in 2001. Holy Shit. I’ve had someone else’s garbage stored in my house for seven years?!
This recipe is a nice new take on the crappy cranberry sauce you avoid at the table every year. Tried, tested and true- perfect for beginners. Mom would be so proud.
Keep reading for the full recipe.
Thanksgiving Recipes: Cider-roasted Vegetables
We are truly lucky to have such a diversity of people, cultures, traditions and, most of all, food, here in Vancouver. From the town that brought you Gung Haggis Fat Choy, I bring you an Asian twist on Thanksgiving dinner.
Thanksgiving turkey is about as North American-WASP as you can get, so this recipe is a nice way to feng shui your meal without getting too crazy. Similar to brown sugar glazed carrots, this one picks up some Asian flavour along the way with the addition of Apple Cider vinegar and some shiitake or portabello mushrooms. This feeds about 8 people.
Keep reading for the full recipe.
Thanksgiving Recipes: Turkey and Gravy
(Not a turkey, but close enough?)
Here it is: the main event.
Cooking your first turkey can be an intimidating prospect. Mom makes it look soooo hard, doesn’t she? But it couldn’t be easier- I think it’s all just a ploy to get out of doing the dishes.
If you’ve got the dough, invest in a non-medicated free range turkey. You can order these ahead of time from a local butcher. If you live in the Vancouver area, Famous Foods, Capers and Choices are all good locations if you don’t have a local butcher. By far, Famous Foods has the best prices. Most of the local turkeys will come from J.D. Farms in the Fraser Valley, which is a great operation run by a decent guy. Very good quality. They have a handy little search for a store near you tool too. Expect to pay around $40-$50, or $20-30 for a cheap 2-headed, 3-winged Butterball. Yech.
As far as size goes, you want to account for about 1 to 1.5 pounds of turkey per person, and don’t worry- you’ll still have plenty of left overs. Turkey soup, turkey pot pie, turkey sandwiches, turkey fajitas, turkey a la king, turkey…
Keep reading for the recipe and play by play.
Fried Green Tomato BLTs
More green tomatoes. Sigh… well here’s something else you can do with them: Fried Green Tomato BLTs.
This is an adaptation from an Epicurious.com recipe. The original appeared in Bon Appetit, August 2003 and you can find the full recipe here .
I’ve made the epicurious version of this recipe before and it was nice, but a bit fussy to be honest. What I like about BLT’s is the simplicity: bacon, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise on bread. That’s it. No fuckin wilted frisee with feta crust. So here’s my version, for six:
Martha’s Tomato Tart
Bitter, gritty and horrible when fresh, green tomatoes are very sweet when slowly cooked in the oven. This recipe is like a pizza, but without the surly delivery guy or greasy box to hide your shame.
Admittedly, this is a fussy Martha frou-frou recipe and I love-to-hate that bitch. But it’s worth making once a year if you have some time and want to get fancy.
This was featured in the July 2005 edition of Martha Stewart Living- great way to use green tomatoes without frying them.
I’ve got tonnes of flowers but no tomatoes, what the hell?
It’s all about the birds and the bees.
Here’s how it works (don’t laugh): fruit requires pollination to actually produce. You’ve grown a great looking plant, lots of beautiful flowers, and now you’re waiting for the fruit to show. For this to happen, the pollen from your male flowers needs to make it over to the female flowers, if you know what I’m saying.
Normally, bees go from flower to flower throughout your yard collecting pollen to make honey back at the hive. Inevitably, they transfer a bit from one flower to another, thereby pollinating and allowing the fruit to develop. I like to think of bees as the original artificial insemination scientist of nature, but really they’re just pimps looking for some sugar.
Sometimes, this doesn’t always happen though. Why?
Fried Green Tomatoes
It happens every year. For some reason or another, you wind up with tomatoes that fall off prematurely or that you need to pick while they’re still green.
Green tomatoes suck and you didn’t go to all that trouble just to grow sucky tomatoes, so here’s the good news: there are some awesome things you can make with them, and yes, the famous “fried green tomato” is one of them.
Be sure to share these with a buddy while you contemplate menopause and friendship together.
This recipe is my own adaptation from the one found at epicurious.com.
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Cracked Pot Pix
